& when i dream of you

Y Tuesday, January 23, 2007Y

3:37 AM

hello i'm back to blogging again
secondary 4 now which means its going to be another stressful year for me..but i guess with my family and my dear friends i'll be able to cope with it. I'm really blessed to have such a wonderful family and friends and i'm going to treasure them each and every moment i spend with them.
haiz, things haven been going well for me especially this week..i'm being emo for these past few days and i'm really tired..everynight i cry myself to sleep. i couldnt sleep on the very first night..everytime i think about it, my heart feels as if it had been stab alot times..but things are so much better when my mummy gave me a hug and told me tat its okie..i still have my mum and dad..after hearng this i really feel like crying more..anyway i really want to thank my friends who have always been there for me..cher,beat, tharsh thanks for your post-its...it was really sweet.. <3 and tay thanks too. i guess girlfriends are really the best. The best thing in this whole universe..i love you guys.. and of course i love my family too.

Y Saturday, December 02, 2006Y

7:49 AM

dear bloggers, do u sometimes find yourself useless? times when u just cant do anything but just sit there and wait for time to fly. is this the way of human life? haiz. there are just some things when u dunno how to solve it. like me. maybe wat he says is right. all i do is to worry here and there..being sad so easily..telling me to be the real me. but this is the real me..being worried over little things is the real me..i dont have the guts to scold you or to tell u that ure in the fault. this is the real me. deep down insidde my heart im really afraid to lose you. i told u so many times about it and u told me not to worry coz u wont leave me just like tat..yes i know youre not lucksin..and i can tell that you truly mean what u said. even though u knew how badly i was hurt before but u will never know when the scar will go away.. coz the truth is it will be there till i die.i dunno why we've been quarraling so much lately..maybe because i haven seen you for so long and im having my olvls next yr. haiz i've been thinking alot lately..i have a feeling that your mummy doesnt approvee us now and that doesnt mean she will approve us next time when im older or whatsoever. i dont blame you for leaving me because of this coz after all you only have 1 mummy. everytime u told u somethings u dont mean it, but it still hurts me. Being worried over little things coz i really love you alot dear. alot. i can nvr imagine life without you. maybe it sounds too dramatic but i guess its just the way it is. like you said if we'r meant to be together, we'll be together. if we're not then you'll still be my good fren. thank you dear.
but right now, i guess i cant do much too but just see how things go. but theres one thing i really want to say to you is i love you dear. <3

Y Sunday, November 26, 2006Y

7:25 PM

sorry guys didnt blog for a long time. so i think i should blog (: i guess everyone is enjoying thier holidays now ya? i kinda miss school though.i miss my dearies too..haven met up with them for a long time.beat's nw in thailand and she'll be back in a mth time ): oh oh..i started playing maple again ^^ haha...dont blame me..i gt nth to do so i play that game! anyway, i hope i dont see u downstairs anymore..just remind me of the past..hah..though its stupid. anyway. eugene hurry book out ): haiz..imissyou.

Y Saturday, November 04, 2006Y

5:30 AM

its saturday (: and i guess most the couples out there are probably having a great with each other. well, its the day of some people's confirmation too (: yup. and i'm at home slacking as usual.hmm. maybe stuck at home. bleah. haiz, wat to do? youngest. ): anyway had training in the noon and i'm freaking tired because of it but i guess i need to endure if i wanna get a medal and i guess everyone in the team is tired too. have a good rest during these few days and we shall rowrowrow the boat :D we can do it ij! we have to beat kc.GOGOJIAYOU! haiz. besides trainings and school i didnt bother to do anything much to keep me occupy. just waiting for time to pass. 8 more days..stupid huh. but i guess thats why people say love is blind. which is true. we can do the stupidest thing on earth when we're in love. i dunno why. but i guess thats the way it is.

althoughyoumayseethestrongmebutdeepdowni'mstillhurt.itwillremaininthereforever.beat,ireallydoknowhowyoufeeldeepdown
inside.justcryalloutwhenyoufeelyouneedto.butiwantyoutoknownomatterhowfaruareyou'llalwayshavemecherclarataytharsh.iloveyou

Y Friday, November 03, 2006Y

1:51 AM

hello i'm stuck at my mummy's office. haiz went to sch today and i'm aching all over. haiz i'm having training tmr again!!! and we'll be having intentsive training tmr ): die la..and our strokes and everything is like shit!! AH! our com is coming up!! HOW?! tsk.i'm so tired. ): and i miss him..haiz 9 more days. i'm dying already...argh. come back soon pls.): i dunno what to blog about. so i guess tats about it.

Y Thursday, November 02, 2006Y

6:11 AM

haiz back from training ): so tired la although i didnt go sch today..i was too tired to get up..fucking tired. life is so tiring..i'm really tired ): i wanna get out of this world and be in a place full of peace..a place where me and my friends can be happily chatting away while sitting on the green patch with the wind blowing.wouldnt it be nice..? no worries..nothing at all but just us..haiz. sec 4 next year, but i cant seem to move on with life..1 more year and thats it..moving on to the next step of life again..i really moss those days when i was young..no worries..just having fun. sometimes i really feel like a pathetic loser..someone who cries all day long. but its the only way to let it all out. our friends cant be here for us always..i'm sure they have thier own problems too..haiz..i really dunno..i'm tired..tired of thinking about this.

ireallymissyoueuegne):10moredaysireallyloveyoualotbuti'mafraidofgettinghurtagain.butiknowitalldependsonfate.alliwannasayisthankyouforeverythinguhadgivenme.andiwannatell
youhowmuchiloveyou.ireallydo.

Y Monday, October 30, 2006Y

2:18 AM

alright i shall update my blog (:
haiz time really flies..i'm gg to be sec 4 next year which means o'lvls): well i guess theres good news and bad news..the good news is that everyone in my class are promoted :D the bad news is that i didnt do that well ): haiz kinda expected..and i guess i'm sort of grounded too..haiz i guess 2006 isnt really my year. but i'm glad its going to be the end of it. anyways gonna be busy for thsi few weeks coz of trainings..i'm only free on mon and sun all the way till 12 of nov. yup. gg for regatta soon..wish me luck (: well wish the whole odac luck. oh well. i'm glad that i have trainings to keep me occupied or else i'll be rotting. haiz 13 more days to go till he will be back ): i really feel lost. maybe love sick. i dunno..): but i'm really trying be strong and being a good girl. but its really difficult..its just another part of me..haiz but i guess i can live with it. look on the bright side..he'll be an officer soon (: YES SIR haha..cher,beat and tay..can u guys come with me for his commissioning? really wish that u guys can make it..but if cant its ok (: i'll still love you guys. <3